so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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