if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
