They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
