I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
