Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
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I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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