she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
