i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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