We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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