Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
