yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
His nipple licking is glorious
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