I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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