May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize