yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
