I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i used baking grease as lip gloss
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
