just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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