Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
