And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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