I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Randomize