you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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