jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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