it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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