Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I accidentally burped into my bong.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
