now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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