if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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