In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
