Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So much rum. So many feels.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
