put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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