she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
