sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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