The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
