Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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