does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
