I'm drive I can fine osifer
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
