i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
