Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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