this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
