Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
