who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
