no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
