Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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