my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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