he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
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He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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