Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
