Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
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