you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
