i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
