god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you made out with another girl for some wings
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
