If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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