He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize