So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
being pregnant is like rehab
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
