2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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