At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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