just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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