after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
