I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize