i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
