I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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