yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
