i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
