We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
