Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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